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Taking time to nurture your own development isn't selfish.  The well-being of mothers impacts the well-being of children and families in powerful and far reaching ways. We cannot pour from an empty cup.

Motherhood and stress, understanding your triggers and learning to respond rather than react. In mothering we are faced with screaming kids, tantrums, constant want for your attention, demands of breastfeeding etc. Mindfulness of emotions and getting clear on your values is extremely helpful to identify what is going on first rather than reacting. If we do become reactive to the external triggers/stress one of the ways to help yourself is to change the scenery. 

Karen Holmes explains it well in relation to Mums.

Mindfulness is probably the most scientifically investigated form of meditation to date, and to put it simply – it involves ‘training our attention’. Through this, we learn to focus on those things that are most useful and most helpful in our lives, allowing us to live more consciously and fully.

Given that a lot of mothering is done in automatic pilot mode, where we are literally multi-tasking the day away, living more mindfully can help us get on top of negative or worried thinking patterns – those pesky ‘what if…?’ scenarios.

A simple and quick mindfulness meditation:

Sit comfortably, preferably with your back firmly against a chair.

Place your feet on the floor and connect or root yourself with the floor.

Close your eyes, make sure your jaw is soft, and drop your chin a little.

Feel your breath and notice your belly rising and falling.

When you feel your thoughts wandering, simply notice this and return to the breath.

When you’re ready, lift your chin and open your eyes.

Bring your awareness slowly back to your surroundings.

Notice how you feel.

‘Motherhood is a period which one enters when she becomes a mother. A mother is a person who brings up a child/her offspring with care and affection.’

So why is it that so many woman struggle with the transition to motherhood. One minute they are leading the charge in a corporate office. Their lives revolves around scheduled meetings, intellectually conversations, email creation, dressing professionally, using their talents etc- the next they are dealing with vomit stained tracksuit pants because they were on the floor and the tiredness resulted in lack of energy to get chores done (and they were comfy), drinking cold coffee because their attention was taken off elsewhere, their schedule is now defined by someone else and this is unpredictable, their boobs are leaking milk at the most random times, the TV/social media becomes their best friend because it is just too hard to leave the house, human excretions become the norm and you become so oblivious to the fact you are cleaning up someone else's poo (where as before the office cubicles freaked you out due to lack of hygiene) a shopping trip is a half a day ordeal where as before the lunch time shopping trip was therapy and full of excitement as you bought items to cloth yourself (now every spare cent gets spent on the kids outfits and you are still wearing your hyper colour tshirt from the 80’s).

It is real and the transition to motherhood is tough. You spend 9 months of the pregnancy getting prepared for the pending arrival but do you really know what is about to hit you until the moment actually comes?

The lose of identity is one of the biggest factors in this transition to motherhood. Once upon a time they were defined by their career or being a scientist, teacher, nurse etc and now they are just a ‘mother’. This transition can be such a shift that it negatively effects the newborn experience. There is nothing wrong with feeling like that as the transition and shift is so great. There are huge physiological and psychosocial changes as she transitions into the motherhood role. She also has to reestablish relationships and works to meet the physical and emotional needs of her infant plus, herself and other family members. Woman are also vulnerable to health problems as well as the hormonal shift in the postpartum period.

Here are our top 10 tips to coping with this transition into your new journey as a mother:

1. Identify positive coping strategies
2. Establish a good social network- mother group, family or like minded Mums in a similar situation
3. Set up realistic expectations- it is not the achievable to have a spotless house and care for a newborn, plus have a meal on the table every night etc etc. Realise what is achieveable- set the bar low and then the rest is a bonus.
4. Have a good support crew that understands the demands of being a mum and can anticipate your needs and help to step in when needed.
5. Avoid isolation- it becomes easy to spend extended periods of time alone with the baby inside the four walls of your house, it becomes easy to lose perspective and confidence. With more times that passes the social interactions become harder and you lose the ability to socialise. 
6. Have a sense of self beyond your children- this will allow you to feel half normal! By ostracising yourself and ceasing the activities you once enjoyed your well-being will suffer- even though you may think it is selfish to do something for you it is oh so important.
7. Trust your gut- you are an expert of your own child. Develop confidence in your abilities. You are the one who spends 24/7 with the baby and know their cries/routines/habits etc. 
8. Accept that life is different now- pace of life, perception from others , ability to get stuff done etc will all turn on its head. Be okay with it and know it is just a phase. 
9. Establish a routine of some description. Human beings need some sort of routine- even those that say they don't have a routine actually do. At bedtime we have a routine, getting out of bed in the morning we have a routine etc so by setting up a loose schedule of times allows structure to be placed around the day. Changing things up from time to time also helps to break up monotony. 
10. Become an optimist- remember you can not control everything especially the needs of a baby so just because you want to sleep at 9:30 doesn't mean they want to- or that visit to Aunty GeeGee well it doesn't always go the way you may want it too so accept, laugh it off and know that tomorrow is a new day. (And you can not control everything!)

The transition is tough so be kind and gracious and reach out if you are struggling x

Having my second child, presented many challenges. Ones that would later define my mental health and put me into a mother and babies unit. Admitting defeat and being placed there was the last thing that I ever wanted but it was the way it happened.

Rewind the clock to the walk out of the hospital doors when reality hit me like a tonne of bricks. Then when my little one was 4 months old things hit rock bottom the sleep deprivation was getting worse with feeding every two hours for an hour, a screaming baby 24/7 due to coelic/reflux and undiagnosed tongue tie, which resulted in my nipples being cracked and cringe worthy pain every feed. My need for perfection and having a house where everything was in its place plus trying to keep up with the newborn demands eventually lead to me being admitted to the mother and baby unit. At the time I told very few people as part of me was ashamed that I ended up in this state. 

I spent three weeks there receiving the treatment and being armed with the tools to be able to cope with my postnatal anxiety and depression. It was from this moment that I wanted to do something about my mental health and to try to do what I could to not be in this situation again. My mindset was changing and my resilience and determination was returning little bit by little bit. Yes I was now medicated, against my will at first, but I now also was armed with some great strategies to cope- one of them was using exercise.

With postnatal mental illness people can not see it like a broken arm or leg and it is something that will always stay with you. Unfortunately a label is now attached.

Fast forward to being pregnant with my third -who came into the world 10 weeks ago. During the pregnancy my obstetrician, GP, husband and myself were all on the front foot with keeping tabs on how I was faring. I was also more mindful of my feelings and emotions and tried to keep things in check as best as I could. Couple this with my strong determination to help Mums in a similar position by the platform of MUMMACTIV - and being a PANDA champion. 

I coped through the whole pregnancy with working, a business and exercise as my leveller and did not have a lot of continual down moments. After delivering my little girl I was in the right zone and was nourishing my soul in the newborn bubble. I set the bar low with daily goals being coffee, shower and walk everyday. This was achievable even on those crappy days and having a sense of achievement is good for the soul. Even though bubba has reflux she is so much more content than my last which I think has a huge impact on how I have coped so far. Ive also taken the pressure off myself to get back to my level of training 6 days a week and to have the house spotless and in order-overall being kinda to myself. 

So if you are a Mum struggling know that you are not alone and the WAY IT IS IS NOT THE WAY IT HAS TO BE….Take time out for you and set the bar lower.

Hopefully through time we will break down the stigmas attached to Postnatal Mental Illness and PANDA is a great resource if you or your loved one needs the help/support. (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Helpline: 1300 726 306)

Over the last two weeks I have been further reminded of what a great medicine 'exercise' is. There have been two different instances where the woman, with whom i was speaking to, shared their positive message towards how exercise is helping them heal.

The first, is a lady currently going through chemotherapy after being diagnosed with cancer. She said to me 'I love coming to the gym it makes me feel so good and I feel normal'. This particular lady comes no matter what-sometimes carrying her vomit bag with her as she has just had treatment. She turns up does some weights and cardio(bike) and has the huggest grin on her face the whole time.

The second lady unfortunately had a traumatic experience having her partner murdered about 8 months ago. Despite the trauma and post associated experiences she still gets out of bed every morning trying to make the most of everyday. She swims a number of kilometres and then walks about 6-7 km just to keep fit and healthy. Her physical activities provide her with routine and structure in her day and the benefits from getting moving are helping her to heal from the inside out.

For me exercise is my equaliser. If I do not feel right or balanced I chuck on the running shoes and hit the track or the gym. For me it is my BALANCING MEDICINE.....So what makes it such a great medicine?

1. Exercise has been proven to boost mood and strengthen mental wellbeing. According to Stephen Buckley of mental health charity Mind: ‘Research shows outdoor exercise such as running can be as effective as antidepressants in treating mild to moderate anxiety and depression.’ The brain releases serotonin, dopamine and norepineephrine when you move your body so even going for a stroll can lift your mood.

*Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-4091592/HEALTH-exercise-miracle-cure.html#ixzz4jm0Nxhgk 

2. Low to moderate intensity exercise has been proven to reduce stress. Runners World recently wrote an article on how it can even affect post traumatic stress disorder.

3. Creates a greater mental resilience as when you complete harder exercises you get mentally tougher, therefore being able to handle more stress...eventually being able to handle more of anything.

4. Improved Immune System as exercise helps to flush bacteria from lungs and flush out carcinogens by increasing the activity of the lymphatic system. (Therefore becoming better at being able to drain more waste away). When exercising the circulation runs faster resulting in white blood cells and antibodies running faster through the systems. 

So these are just a few reasons as to why EXERCISE IS A BALANCED MEDICINE. To me it is a win win situation and has so many positives.